On Saturday I was at the mall standing in the entrance of Motherhood Maternity looking at some really cute smocked tops. I felt AWFUL on Saturday - my eyes were swollen and puffy and red (I have conjunctivitis for the 9,000th time) and my hair was a mess and I was just so bleh. I was wearing a red shirt from Delia's that has a picture of a pig on it and it says "please hug me - don't eat me."
This total weirdo guy walks by the store and glances at me. Stops in his tracks. Backs up and comes right over to me. (How suave.)
And he says, "Hey! what does your shirt say?" so I tell him. He holds out his arms and comes closer to me. "Can I hug you?" (Also very suave.)
Oh God, I think, Am I being hit on in a maternity store? This poor fool. "No... the PIG'S the one asking for hugs!"
He shrugs and grins at me and enters the store as if he had planned to come in all along. Takes one look around and with a puzzled look says, "So what is this? A women's store?"
"Yup. It's a maternity store."
His face contorts. "Oh. Are you pregnant?"
He turns around and zooms out of the store like his ass is on fire, without so much as a goodbye. He didn't respond when I called after him to have a good day. Oh well. While he was clearly a dumbass, he made me feel better about how awful I look. I can still get hit on by weirdos.
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